Stop fucking with Classics

Incoming literary geek rant


Turn away now if not interested in listening


Ok, I get the zombie craze. I know how it started, (Shaun of the Dead, World War Z), have no problem with that or one or two of the books, although it does cause this innate reaction in me that just came out when was pointed to the fact that Mike White has been signed on to direct Pride and Prejudice and Zombies.

Forgiving for a second that the title should have been altered to Pride, Prejudice, and Zombies (I know the original title of the book was the reason that it’s titled that way).  Also forgiving the fact that no kid or teenager, and that’s what these are marketed at in an attempt to get them to read the classics, has ever read the originals (which is a crime even I am punishable for). Why the hell are there so many? I mean look at this list:

Pride and Prejudice and Zombies by Seth Grahame-Smith
Pride Prejudice and Zombies: Dawn of the Dreadfuls by Steve Hockensmith
Sense and Sensibility and Sea Monsters by Ben H Winters
Jane Slayre by Sherri Browning Erwin

And those are just four out of twenty or so books that are mash-ups of classic literature that are dealing with anything from zombies to sea monsters, I don’t get it I really don’t, it seems it started out as a freaking fan-fiction exercise and turned into a fully fledged genre, as a matter of fact here’s a quote from the New York Times about the phenomenon and its primary publisher: Quirk books:

“Pride and Prejudice and Zombies has spent eight months on the New York Times best-seller list, spawned several imitators and injected some fresh blood -- and male readers -- into an Austen industry dominated by gauzy romances. Goodbye, The Private Diary of Mr. Darcy. Hello, Mr. Darcy, Vampyre, Sense and Sensibility and Sea Monsters and Dawn of the Dreadfuls, a prequel to Zombies that lists Austen as an author despite the lack of what Hollywood types refer to as "participation."”

Now don’t get me wrong; I can kind of get it; you want to bring new blood to old classics and what better way than to take it and mash it up with well known trends in media?  But you’re forgetting one key thing: these people will never read the originals; sure you can say oh it’s a gateway to it.  But in general the people who are reading these haven’t read the classics.  Well, no, that isn’t exactly true. I know plenty of friends of mine who have read and enjoy the originals who picked up the books on a whim.

Now you might be thinking to yourself well it’s only a small list, it’s not going to hurt a lot; I thought the same thing when Hollywood started making remakes; look where that has got us: Lionsgate is already planning to remake Saw.

Now what can I do about this? I can rant for one and hope that someone hears me and listens, though I don’t have enough faith in humanity for that one dear reader.  I can sit back and let this take a hold of your life therefore insuring that it will gain even more popularity.  I can give up on reading(no…no that’s just dumb) or I can try and support little known authors like Lundqvist, Larrison, and a local author that I met while at a convention Michael D’Ambrosio(whom I plan on reviewing in a few weeks).  The small press is practically where it’s at as the bigger presses tend to try and garner attention with trends in media, the smaller presses garner more attention to their authors and take more risks.  Now am I saying give up on big press completely?  No, odds are you have a favorite author who is on a big press that you just love, stick with that author hope he doesn’t succumb to the wheel o’plot syndrome like Stephen King or any number of big authors out there.

Another thing I would like you to do is pick up an odd book, any odd book by an author you don’t know something you don’t ever expect to read and give it a chance.  Sure it may not be much but lord knows there are enough unknowns out there to make your head spin, take chances don’t just go looking for “New York Times Best Seller” do it for your own sake, for literary sake and for arts sake.

Now in closing, I’m going to say this and I know it might seem contradictory to what I’m trying to say but it is true; I know there aren’t or are barely any original ideas left in this world, we’re all working on variations of themes but isn’t it about time that we gave that new variation a try? For our sanity sake, give it a try!